"I probably shouldn't even bother wasting part of my blog for this, but I really want to take the time out to feel sorry for a few people that I know of. I feel bad making fun of them, simply because that community really is the extent of their lives...it's the honest truth....i don't think i've heard them mention even *one* person that they're friends with by say, normal socialization methods, the classic "grocery shopping" routine or "drinking with other people" schpeil...sad sad, are those sorts of folk, who will always hide behind that aggressive cloak, they don't know any better, but believe me they've walked over the wrong crack in the cement these days..."

i suppose i should go on the record that i was referring to the canadian farmer...


all this attention for little old me?...

the sad part is, my girlfriend said it perfectly in her online journal...who acts very much like a 20 year old...i think...

"(oh and, for the record, i saw the odds live in 1997. good for me! points again!)"

(psst...you saw them...because...oh nevermind)

"isn't she so wise beyond her 19 years?"

( i think this is a subliminal request to go drinking with me in Canada...i'm up for it, eh?)

"of course. you might make friends at the grocery store shoving bananas and carrots up your ass, but not everyone is into that skanky sort of "clean up on aisle 11" type of thing. why don't you tell us some more about your internet buddy, lynn?"

just ignore them...they're trying to start trouble...i think she's jealous...and for the record, i use cucumber's C-U-...

"walked over the wrong crack in the cement meaning how, no one put you on a pedestal, and your life is sad because rather than like you, a kid in the hall insulted you, and you felt the need to bring it up time after time in the newsgroup..."
Sloan video representative: ok, we're short...what the fuck are we gonna do?

(cut to a frightened pacing acne-ridden 15 yr. old...)

Sloan video producer: we're gonna have to use the locals...

this sentence just makes my day...i love the kids in the hall...but i don't know them, nor do i care to all that much...sure, bruce is hot...i'm a backstage junkie, and scott was an asshole, he's a human, blah blah...so all of you flip out like 5 year olds because i took away your kithie life support...and it's my fault...i was told to tell the story or get out...i'm ashamed at myself for telling any of you, but pleased now that i'm not hypnotized by the boils anymore...

as you can see...no one that i know is making such a big deal out of this

why is that bella?

probably because they have lives, but more importantly, because they're genuine people...and they're probably afraid that gina's gonna show up with a bazooka at the mark play...take us all out...

"or is it a much more deep rooted psychological thing that i am missing?"

something tells me ur missing something up there...

"either way, i'm sorry i felt bad when she was hurt by scott, because hey, when i think about it, it was well deserved."

Bella's thought process: "wow...she has a hear...nevermind...now that she's got that job of sucking tavie's toenails, bruce will surely want her..um...ha...don't say it..."

what i was trying to point out, is that she's absolutely right...i *really* wanted to be one of them...because they seem to be closest to the troupe...and then I found a bunch of really great friends, and i knew that i didn't have to compromise my morals to fit in with fucking kids in the hall fans...

so when sexy steven stewbot blocked me from his buddy-list, i was a little piffed, yes...especially because i did absolutely nothing to him, this time around i *really* didn't do anything wrong...so everyone's obviously going to take his side, he really is a nice guy, and that's when i got angry, ironically...feeling sorry that a guy like that has to have friends like that...it made me cherish the real folks i *know* in daily life, and feel true sorrow for the one's who just *have* to say something...i'm not suprised in the least...this time, i just don't give a fuck...

they're waa-waa babes, who think that i'm like every other fat chic with a notepad...

BUT...i'm not going to leave the newsgroup anytime soon, and i'm going to say exactly what i feel on my page because ITS MY FUCKING PAGE...so fuck off, then...buggers, as liz has told me to do to them for weeks now...i didn't ask you to read this, this ISNT a public forum, as you would say if i had mentioned any of this on your pissing grounds...

don't you get it? you can't scare me or any new lurkers away from now on...i'll be the martyr of the kithies...i'm sure lynn would be willing to make t-shirts...come out of the closet, i've talked to so many of you, don't be afraid to say a god-damn thing...

steve brought the truth to light...follow it my children...

i'm also a psychic...i know exactly what they're going to say about this beforehand...

A. absolutely nothing
B. something sarcastic (dave foley fans being...sarcastic? good god...no bella...)

if you don't like me...frankly my kithies...

erin...i mean lynn...make me a sandwich?

"beat up on the people with friends! fuck you! why aren't you be my friend?"--the horse's mouth

"damn...those pictures do her too much justice"--barbara, behind mama cunningham at the oscars

I have *the* most annoying doorbell in the history of the motherfucking world...

The day went along as most days do...i woke up at an unreasonable hour to the raucous sounds of folks with jobs turning on faucets and putting on chunky heels...

did i ever mention how much i love mustache cream?

so anyway, i roll out of bed round noon...get a bowl of ice cream, and then a special friend came online, and told me i had been boycotted from several kithie blog link sections that i didn't really know i was in...in the first place...i pondered the absurdity of geekdom...took a shit, and headed for the shower...

someone's gotta come up with the "i'm making a statement" barbie...complete with an electronic notepad, and a smoke shape machine, that spells out everything wrong in the sky...there's nothing better than two 'less than acquaintance' college kids fronting one another on their online journals...

i would never poke fun of people i didn't love...and believe me lynn...contrary to popular belief, i love every beefy one of em...

did you know they build a playgirl mansion...?

Sex is never closure. What sets us apart from the pseudo-chic marmet loving rich and penetrating vine of helplessness, is nothing more than a string of sincerity...and that's the honest truth. Sadly and yet ever so sweetly, we continue the circle, unabashed, with simple longings for nothing and a general consenus for the color hatred...

I once walked those hills, pointing skyward, standing back to catch a utter glimpse of me, and i found a sadist with a large ass, a volume beyond comparison. I found what they will never see, what i will never see again, i found peace somewhere between hostility and grace.

Someone once pushed in front of the line, because they had to...{and a real woman knows when she has to}. Call out, fair maiden, time was lost years ago, and reverence remains to be seen.

You think i'm not what you could be, only what no one could care less about. I am more than you will ever know, love and hate respectively, just a stage for fools to dance upon...and you could never tread the deepest waters of my condition. Stead fast and glory, cliche and culty...you will never win.

sweet mother of mercy, Paul has a blog...

the funny thing is, i was just thinking about this chap...we got stoned and ended up crashing into the Boston Market drive-thru on Delaware...flashback to a conversation he and I had before i graduated, about free macaroni and cheese...

see you at Canisius...i'll be the one dressed like the Virgin Mary...with a strap on and a 40...ounce diet pepsi ::::dork:::::::

How Gay Are YOU? [?]

i'm really fucking honored at this point...maybe even honoured...no no, just honored...i mean, i always knew and all...but now whenever someone at the grocery store overcharges me on grapes...i have an excuse to sue them...the image isn't showing up...how ironic? you'll never know how gay i *REALLY* am....ha...sheesh...

Which Sex and the City Player Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty


why does this depress the hell out of me...

i did this one already, i know, but i'm running out of options...i should send her a roll of film or a digital camera chip of some sort...the people are getting anxious....

if anyone is on two screennames at this point, wondering why i blocked them, or if i hate them, because i know that i'm everyone's main priority in these coming highschool exam weeks...i'm just downloading, nothing personal...i mean, if i didn't like you, i'd have the breast-a-ses to tell you so...

Who's your daddy?? Find out @ blackhole


I find that most days, beth and I are most similar...

until they make a "which olsen twin movie are you?" quiz...i'll settle...





I'm Jarret!

Take the Jimmy Fallon recurring SNL character quiz here.

created by stomps.

I was just thinking about how funny it would be if Lynn married Robbie Williams...secretely, she really wants to do drugs, but my middle toe on my left foot is infected, so obviously it wouldn't happen...

What to talk about...first, a few quotes that may or may not be related to John Stamos' career:

"Sweet...Generally I think I am, yes. Nice...Generally, yes.
I am not a pawn.
I will not be guilt tripped.
And I choose the friends I ally with VERY carefully
I'm sorry if your feelings were hurt because you thought I would choose your side. But I won't be tug-o-war-ed between two groups of friends...and my choice was rational, well thought out, and final. Thanks for playing."--the illusive Chevy Chase

I'd also like to note that Mr. Chase used the term "ally", which is quite interesting to me, seeing that they always illude to their mafia-esque demeanor

I really wanna smoke a blunt with this next girl...(not to be confused with the newest STD "goil" {psst...it's not just a rash...it's an enigma})...she's just got charisma, while the other ones have...seen more bite plates than the white house?

"Somethings going on that I don't understand. Apparently someone is tilting at windmills and trying to put people on the defense....what is the point? I have no interest in made up slights and petty sniping.
There is nothing better in this world then a close set of friends and there is no guilt in enjoying it. Life is too short and way too precious."

thank you, someone had to say it...i mean really...when people on the internet get in a fight, someone has to stay level-headed...

you know, and i used to like the other one...I always thought it had just a little bit of heart, until she tried to rape Lynn...someone needs to give that cheetah a box of wicked raisins, if you know what i mean...

hey, remember when i found out that Craig Northey was touring with the Kids in the Hall this spring, and then I told everyone about it, and then the people who usually substitute the internet for their lack of sexual prowess ended up switching it for a pseudo-sincere infatuation for a musician they had never heard of, or cared about weeks earlier?

The computer crashed on Friday...so we had to take it to the uber-chic Apple store at the mall, where we were greeted by a puffy-bearded gentlemen wearing a bob marley "think different" shirt, and a complimentary (although the term could be argued as ironic, seeing that we *did* pay three grand for a device that died, bringing us into the situation i'm about to describe) bottle of Evian...

Everything's absolutely great...and i smell pancakes...so now it's simply divine...

apparently joe and ryonce went to the mall without me...that's a bag of apple chips i'm not going to open until i get some food in my system...

"jennifer, juniper
lives up on the hill
jennifer, juniper
sitting very still
is she sleeping?
i don't think so...

is she breathing?
yes very low...
whatcha doin
jennifer my love?"

I love Election...the movie that is...i'm not all that interested in politics (:::::::Sappho looks up from her book, rolling her eyes, making a spit bubble towards my cunt...continues reading:::::::)

I'll probably feel a high level of guilt for clicking the "post and publish" button, but not as much as i do now, for listening to ABBA so loud...

lynn's gonna slap me for stooping to such levels...but sometimes, when people on the internet get in fights...somebody's gotta say SOMETHING....



i really would have liked to be closer to my fellow kithies...i've learned to choose my own allies...i wonder if Mark knows about any of this...

Who's your daddy?? Find out @ blackhole

i have a reason to get dressed...FINALLY....

joe's on his way to get me...we're going homo-shoe shopping, which includes lots of deliberation....followed by a whole lotta flaunting...

i love joey and lynn...more than bread...

i don't really think an album, a tour, and a movie categorizes you as "busy"...i think the term "happy" might come to mind...

I've been in such a fucking rut lately. All of my friends are in "a mood" too...some of us are pilaging friggin match.com, although they don't know exactly how beautiful they really are, while the rest of us sit home all day, too depressed to find a job, or even their own niche, even though that's exactly what I need right now...what they need...fuck it...

This has to be the worst week in the history of the world...let's recount...

a. i got fucking dumped by a guy i would pretty much die for...which says a lot about my capabilities as a human being at this point...

b. the country is going to blow up...i believe Joe's Julio (who lives in queens) put it quite candidly "the weird part is that i'm about to spend close to $6,000 on dental work, and I might die in a terrorist bombing"

c. i completely forgot the signifigance of this post, thus proving that at times...you *can* smoke entirely too much weed...

i'm sitting here in the elton john t-shirt ryonce stole for me, wrapped up in an old afghan, and although I did make it into the shower this morning, i didn't push anywhere past the intregal task of changing one's undergarments...

I think this is what they call "depression"; My head is literally too heavy for my body, even my teeth hurt. It's not him, it really isn't...I'm basically over all of that...well, 'over' is a strong word...

besides, I have other, more reliable things to concentrate on, like drugs and usenet...they'll always be there for a good laugh...everytime i get down, i jump online and know, that it's really not all that bad...lynn still can't find that cat template i've been looking for...anyone know where i can find a cat template?

I probably shouldn't even bother wasting part of my blog for this, but I really want to take the time out to feel sorry for a few people that I know of. I feel bad making fun of them, simply because that community really is the extent of their lives...it's the honest truth....i don't think i've heard them mention even *one* person that they're friends with by say, normal socialization methods, the classic "grocery shopping" routine or "drinking with other people" schpeil...sad sad, are those sorts of folk, who will always hide behind that aggressive cloak, they don't know any better, but believe me they've walked over the wrong crack in the cement these days...

ok...game over...

my sister works too hard...she's sleeping in the chair next to me, grunting wildly in her sleep...whenever i'm next to someone who's in an obvious REM pattern, i get this sudden urge to fake some catastrophic disaster...like, shake Angelator awake screaming "HOLY FUCK, THEY GOT THE STATUE OF LIBERTY!!"...and then after she defecates all over the lazy-boy..."i said...did you want ranch or italian?"

and now..."bella got bored, and decided to look for pictures of Bruce's g/f...Tracy Ryan..."

things that i wish i had, RIGHT NOW:

a. cookies n' cream

b. rynn's picture on my blog...

c. a scanner...and some beastiality shots..

d. brucio

e. bern's uncut penis attached to my keychain on some boondoggle...

f. this guy's life...i'm serious, i'd die to be known as...a really old use-netter, who thought it would be cool to make him look cool, by making a blank page...and then after realizing that no-one snork laughs, like boondoggle can snork laugh...he had to put an explination...in all black...

this is my future...

mike...lynn...tavie, hold me?

this pink is hurting my eyes...i tell her, "i'm not a shiny person...get rid of that god awful orange liner..."

mike rox...he knows where to get the hook-up...i just thought i'd mention that...

bern who?

ha...

and now it's time for "Ask Bella Anything"

Q: what the fuck is goin on up in here?

A: ask lynn...

this template mutherfuckin rox!

Take the Which Cartoon Character on Drugs are you? quiz, by ProtocolDroid.

What Flavor Icecream Are You?

"you spelled sane wrong
-
-May 20 2002, 01:54 pm #"-- faceless aol entity

some stoner thoughts for the day:

a. if anyone ever fucking asked me to "dog-sit', i would accept the offer. Then I would drink all of their alcohol, then i would smoke all of their weed, and then i would unintentionally eat all of their dog jerky...

b. even when i'm not stoned, whenever i have 10 bucks in my hand i'm like shit i could buy 40 little debbies right now...i'm lying, i don't have ten bucks...i've never had 10 bucks..well this one time my dad didn't call for five years and then he sent all three of us 100 bucks *each* because he fell off an escalator...but that was a long time ago...

c. if you regularly tip your favorite tim hortons cashier...you're a fucking stoner...

d. if you have a favorite tim hortons cashier...yea

e. if you think that you have to get a second job to buy everything other than weed...you have a serious drug problem...

f. if you steal jokes from blind date...you should probably stop breathing now..

g.`last night, we broke the news to angela that Kag is moving to California next year, (this is a local reference, email me if you really want to know the significance of it)...and she replied with "you mean we have to move to California?"

h. if you're making a list of stoner thoughts, try to use numerical organizational methods...there's a million numbers to guess from, but only 26 letters...

i. this one day, i got stoned, and started seriously thinking about how cool it would be if tree's could fight each other, with swords, and then i was like...wait a second... TREES DONT HAVE HANDS!

8. the next time you have an ice cube in your mouth...try to convince yourself that you're chewing on glass...it's highly amusing

9. if a guy tries to convince you that he's never had a blow job...bite off the tip of his dick, and when he looks at you funny say "oh...how would you know?"

10. if you're eating coco pebbles with half & half in a slim fast shake maker with a spork...you probably just got dumped...

and now...some stoner quotes

1. "take somethin off, or put somethin on...but do somethin quick!"
2. "if you have a busted Benz...it's your own fuckin fault"
3. " i wonder if that's what chris rock meant when he said a "crusty bitch"
4. "you guys wanna play road hog?"
5. "amvets employee: have a nice night
reno: i will now that i have a wheelchair..."
h. "if i start talking about star wars for more than five minutes...i'll regain my virginity..."--bella, to scott
reno: i will now that i have a wheelchair..."

why do i keep feeling like i should call him?...is this normal, is this sane? every sign points the other way, and my ass walks right into the grapevine...

we smoked at the park today, and i'm going to digress for a moment: is anyone watching HBO right now?...at like, 11:30 pm? i've been sitting here, staring at this documentary about a cemetary for the past two hours, and i haven't retained a gosh-darn bit of it...

this girl i know of, and this guy that i know of are fucking like wild antelopes as you're reading...big ones, with ugly shirts and awkward mustaches...boom boom, dynamite...

look at me! i'm making animal references, and i'm not even talking about my ex!...

lynn just signed off...i will miss her...

maybe i won't cry myself to sleep tonight...

my life IS gettting better...

getting dumped is like having your birthday all over again, only this time you crapped your pants in your blind date's car...Reno gave me a couple new pairs of panties, and the ONE lennon CD i don't have...how could i consider myself a fan beforehand, not having an entire copy of Instant Karma up until a few days ago. Joe and I finally went to the Anchor Bar; I had a beef on weck, like a good lil Buffalonian. And even though I might have had the wrong food, I did have the right intention. Ryonce bought me an Elton John shirt, and i'm sure it will mean more to me than he'll ever imagine. Everyone's been rather supportive, for a large group of stoners, and I've been trying to not break down every five seconds, as much as i'd really like to. There is a direct correlation between emotions and appropriate-ness. And right now i'm watching Dr. Doolittle II...I think it's time to go to bed.

oh yes...and i finally met Craig Northey...actually, i introduced myself in Vancouver, and he looked intoxicated, so i thought it was just grand when i shook his hand again, less than 24 hours later, wearing the EXACT same outfit, and he talked to me like i was a new entity...not like I expect him to remember me, but I was more amused with the fact that i got a second chance to touch him...

i REALLY wish i had a scanner...because the Craig pics are just delicious...they're better than my brucio ones...

I'm falling again, i shouldn't admit it, but i'm crashing all over again. I should be fucking thrilled, that the cordless isn't attached to my hand anymore, and I'll never have to sit in a hottub against my will, while some fattie ejaculates his initials into the mirror. I'm lying...his "manlyhood" could barely make it past the rankings of a rubber pencil...

But i'm not bitter...i'm actually starting to concentrate on things, or at least spending a lot of time smokin with my peeps...

Speaking of peeps, i saw ryonce for the first time in months...we had a ball, and ended up cocked at a casadaga valley Pizza Hut...the waitress was whacked too, the minute we walked into the door, she got us our menu's and said "i'm not saying a word"...and then gave us her employee discount, it was a time to cherish, a moment to reflect on our fleeting youth. Every once in a while, I start to ponder the condition of human sincerety, and then something like this happens, and a realize that sometimes people want a bigger tip...

I'm going to wear my simon and hecubus shirt to the next Sunday family dinner...the one with the words "i'm ready to serve you...and satan!" scrawled across my back, i can see one of my pre-school aged jesus freak cousins running for cover into the living room, popping in a Veggie Tales tape and rocking back and forth to "wee-christian soldiers"

I still owe my sister's credit card for his birthday present...i'm still feeling this relationship, whether i choose to or not...this time it's in my pocket instead of my zipper...it's like paying for a VCR that someone already stole from your house. But i'm not going to regret anything that happened for the short amount of time that he was a sweetheart. Joe and I are going to do more stuff, and I hope that I can hang out with some old friends that have come back from Central NY, a year wiser...

I need friends...i don't need an us, maybe a me and me...just a bit of lynn in montreal, or a touch of scott in amherst or a tiddle of flippin wench in her Saturn. I don't know what made me feel like I couldn't continue doing what my boring ass has done every summer since i had pubes...

I'm gonna read a book, or at least find a really flat one to roll on...i'm gonna spend some time with me and my fingers...i'm gonna learn how to play the guitar.

Jim Carrey is filming a movie in Buffalo...they're looking for extra's, I should go...i think it might be fun...and maybe he'll fall madly in love with me, and we can be the John and Yoko of comedians...staging futon-ins for peace in Parry Sound, and Medicine Hat...

I should become a female rap star...they've got big asses, and they still know how to ride nice dick...lil kim's my hero, and i'm fucking proud to say it...

Of course Dawn finally gets a car to go to Phoenix and i've run completely out of cash...how cool would it be to see kith at possibly their last live show EVER?

I didn't post anything about meeting them, did I?

Mark McKinney should be my dad...i've got more pictures with him than i do my real father. He stood outside with me and my new good friend Kat, talked shit with us for a bit, before jumping into a van...and then when Elvis Costello(the guy Craig was afraid to name drop in his blog) ended up at the show, Mark showed his fan side...it was an ironic cult sandwich...

i'll be sandwiched between Mark and Elvis anyday...

and those are my final words...

i'm eating generic macaroni and cheese, and drinking organic beer...but i can't drink the whole thing...i've never had a full regular can, and i think it would be near-blasphemy if I snubbed Labatt's like that...

I got my first taste of West Coast Canada today. The trip was a little over three hours, but the ride was wonderful. We had to save as much money as possible, so we opted for the non-smoking car and hotel room, someday my left lung will thank me, but at this point I really need some drugs, which probably explains my sudden amusement with alcohol, albeit soy...

I really expected Vancouver to be bigger for some reason. It is huge, but it's nothing like the documentaries you see on PBS at 3 am when you're stoned. I suppose I just automatically assumed that there would be more to it architecturally, but the cultural aspect made up for it. It's definitely a people-watching city, so many different colors...we drove by a muslim highschool, an entire secondary facility dedicated to the Islam faith. We got lost in Chinatown for a while, and it was much larger than Toronto's asian section.

I was talking to a younger guy outside of the kith show, before I found raegan and her sister. There's a level of sincerety in Canada that you really can't find anywhere in America. At first, and this is a totally american thing to say, I thought it was innocence, but now that I've been to more than one province, it's something far deeper. It's untainted heart, pure and simple, it's something I'm almost jealous of, because as a US citizen, i'll never reach that level of courtesy.

Toronto is to New York as Vancouver is to LA. It's too funny to hear someone from BC say "toronto's really laid back", and "Vancouver has more heart". I admit i'm bias to good old TO, and if I had to choose between the two of them, transportation and jet lag not withstanding...i'd still pick the CN tower of the BC Place any day...

We're going back tomorrow, and I'm almost nervous. This really is the last time i'm going to see kith live on the tour, seeing that I don't play the lottery, and I'm what you would call unemployed.

Sometimes, when I'm in a situation like this, where excitement takes over, my nerves get the best of me, and I rush it. Tonight i was throughly enjoying the show, and as bruce was doing his solo(which he changed from "bob seger" to "never trust", a refreshing and much more entertaining twist), I kept thinking about leaving, and getting back home...putting on my slippers and falling asleep on my couch, reflecting the trip and the whole kithie experience that i've been ever so fortunate to encounter. And I scare myself, that i'm gonna be that old spinster who's living in retrospect. The past pleases me more than the future, even as the present is happening, I've got the order all wrong...

i haven't smoked since thursday...i'll blame it on my soberness

Angelator damn near flipped the car when a giant bumblebee smacked her right on her head...it died on impact...and we nearly did too...she got off on some exit, and pulled up next to a log cabin that looked like something out of the Unabomber Lifetime movie...it was highly amusing, we've been getting along rather well...

It's two am here, and i'm just about ready to zonk...

tomorrow morning is Pike Market, and another 3 hour trip up to BC...hopefully the American Customs won't get flippy on me...apparently a college ID and a birth certificate isn't enough to get me by...i almost had the nerve to tell her I never got my license because i have wooden feet...but I haven't been stoned in a week...so all humorous gestures have been replaced with jonezzin for the ganja...

goodnight, sweet lynnise...i know you're the only one reading down this far....

we're here...in sunny Seattle...

well, we're actually in Tukwila, WA, which is like, 30 minutes outside the city...

The plane ride was...the WORST experience of my entire life. Apart from the fact that Angelator and I were separated for the duration of the flight from philly, we also had the joy of getting both center seats...and i had the particular pleasure of having an older man drool on my shoulder while i tried to brush up on my poli-fashionable news in the overly priced Vanity Fair...(did you know the guy who could very well find the cure for cancer was caught with a kilo of coke in medical school?)

this is probably the most beautiful place i've ever been , as I usually spend my evenings out down by the foot of Ferry in Buffalo...

it's a major metropolitan area, then as you look out towards this massive city, the background is all mountainous...it's absolutely picturesque...

sometimes i wish i was a songwriter or a painter...because this sort of shit would come in handy for moments like these...

:::::bella pulls out guitar:::::::::

Seattle

hey i'm in seattle
i'll smoke a doob
with a big whale

hey i'm in seattle
don't litter or they'll
send you to jail...

hey i'm in seattle
there's more soy
beans here then
there are in japan

hey i'm in seattle
lets catch some fish
and throw em in a
pan...

::::::solo moment:::::

you know there must be a lot of stoners out here...they have tacos at Burger King, and the rest of the drive-thru's are open 24 hours...

(profound statement part of the song) sometimes i wonder what my life would have been like if i had a penis...

Hey i'm in Seattle
let's ride a sea otter
into the sun

Hey i'm in Seattle
i hope ryonce and
flippin wench are
havin fun

Hey i'm in Seattle
i just got arrested
for molesting
a tree

hey i'm in seattle
apparently smiles
here are free...

::::::::::chorus of children:::::

smiles are free....oh gee
smiles here free...father milligan
STOP TOUCHING ME...


::::::::::end of song::::::::::


we're off to Vancouver today...i'm worried about Kat...i haven't heard from her since i left buffalo..but i'm REALLY excited about going to see the show with raegan and her sis, i'll have a few kithie stories when i get back i'm sure....

oh yes...and on a final note...i died my hair black...

and the funny, sort of ironic part is...on the box it says black...but my hair is quite blue at the moment...

"my powder smells like an elderly person"--angelator, talking to herself as i type..

haven't done this in a while...sorry about that folks...

i miss lynn

i miss bern, although i'm not supposed to admit it...

i miss ryonce, and quite proud to say it...

one more exam to go, and then off to pack for the seattle/vancouver area...

LIZ might be coming to buffalo! smokin caravan to see mark in fully committed up in MON-CHRE-ALL

i think the show we're going to see is gonna be on pay-per-view

christina is designing the webpage i'm far too slow to figure out how to do...eventually i'll become so annoying that she'll have to block off any sort of ties with me, so she can get her regualar life back on track...

did i mention i miss lynn? because i do...

congrats to krysten and raegan for their new online editions...i spent a few minutes updating links and such, lately i've been having a tendency to forget about the people i love...

ironically as usual...

joe's going to need me this summer...good luck to ol julio on his trip back to the city...the one he left behind in much better condition...


i'm a thousand dollars in debt now because of the kids in the hall...Craig Northey used to work at the Bay , and went to grad night....


i feel like the news ticker at mighty taco

This is what happens...when english majors don't get jobs RIGHT after college...

joe and ophelia remember this poem quite well after ol Renky's english 3 class

i'm not sure why I love that damn poem so much, but now that we can see someone else's head ripped off by a shotgun, via the miracle that is the internet (link above), well...this just puts the blood on the tampon...

tisk, tisk..what would Edwin think...

I'm done with college for the year

i'm going to repeat that mantra until i'm forced to walk the jesus hallways once again...but for now....i'm done with my first year of college.

and i want to write something for a few folks who stalk people at Blockbuster...

This year has gone faster than bern used to come, and i’m too relieved for words at this point...next weekend i'll be in motherfucking Seattle, Washington, and when I come back, it will be the same old Buffalo summer that I left before I started school...the gang that roamed far from home, will be sitting on their favorite elmwood corners, and the sidewalk across the street will be filled with the same shit from the same dogs...year after year...i must be getting older...because i like it that way...

i went to the Galleria for the first time in months, helping my sister look for a birthday present. Lately, i’ve been seeing people for who they really are, not family members...i know they’re all whacked, but REAL average people...i think i’m becoming compassionate...and i must be getting old...because i like that too...

instead of just some fat guy pushing a baby carriage, i see a family, the way he first looked at his son, in some hospital in nowhere land...the day he fell in love and and made love and made the baby that’s in the stroller that just walked by...

i’m gonna start taking everything for granted, so that in a few years...i’ll have a poingant moment next to an abercrombie and fitch...and i’ll see the real colors come off the canvas...

writers block is getting me bad, i hope seattle and seeing kith one(or two) last times will help me sort shit out, not only for myself, but for everyone that i know and love...

i think it’s the diet...that and my father...i can try so hard not to let on that it’s crushing my existence...

we weren’t the pristine daddy and bethie that the networks pump into the veins of american stupidity...i always had a love for him, but i will never know what it’s like t o have a normal childhood...

when i see dad, i don’t think my father, i think of everyone else’s...my uncle ed, my grandfather, ophelia’s dad, freakin mark mckinney...

what’s wrong with me? absolutely nothing...

i might have jumped the gun for a good cause last week, by calling him my “ex” boyfriend...i’m done leaving messages and wasting anymore energy on this boy...

he’ll never grow up, and it’s certainly not my job to play mommy...i’m already losing a parent...i don’t need to lose the dad that’s been raising me, up somewhere in that big fucking head of mine for someone who has nothing better to say then “i forgot”

it’s my turn to forget..it’s my turn now

lynn’s right...i don’t deserve the heart ache...

signing off...5 lbs lighter than last time...