Just in Case you were wondering

I just found a perfectly functioning mechanical pencil at the library. I should probably pocket it before someone comes back to retrieve it. It's brand new! The pencil eraser has hardly been used, and there's a fancy rubber grip on the end of it. And it's blue, which is one of my favorite colors.
Last week in English class the "poet-in-honors-english-at-community-college" led us in a discussion about materialism, and the apparent fall of Christianity. And somehow, between talking about Darwin and Yeats, a fat-bashing session arose. The poet politely said to the teacher, "there are too many fat people around", to which I responded loudly, "I think there are too many poets around".

I hope not to be fat for long, but not because I don't love it. I was watching the discovery channel over the last holiday break, when I came across a show called "Dr. G Medical Examiner". And there was a man who died from a blood clot from complications from being fat. But the way she talked about it was so demeaning, it was pretty hard to watch. I'd like Dr. G to examine a gang member from South Central L.A., and then have her talk about how he should have never been raised in that environment, let her hear the sparks from the gold-rimmed wheelchair scraping across her front lawn. I was born to eat, like some men are born to kill themselves.

I don't normally put up article links, but this one made me really happy:

http://www.mlive.com/news/grpress/index.ssf?/base/news-20/1107877629316620.xml

The hum of the computers in the Lab is as far as inspiration is going to meet me today. The only thing left upstairs is exactly what is coming out now. Production of sentences further than 2 away from any conversation I will have today has ceased, until further notice. This weekend Birdman and I accompanied Ryonce and his man friend at their cabin which was really a trailer, a nice trailer, at that, if at all possible. I went to the doctor's on thursday, and it turns out that I weigh more than most medium sized sharks. This morning is the first day of my diet, and I already feel like shit. I had a 300 calorie bowl of oatmeal and some diet pop for breakfast, because my grandmother said I should eat breakfast. I vomited up the snack pack of sacred Timbits and the small decaf double-double I devoured shortly after the 14th blunt of the weekend that we smoked on the way home. Whenever I smoke with Ryonce, it's always blunts, and it's always a lot of them. I was stoned from noon on saturday until about midnight on sunday. We spent about 70 bucks on weed, and it was gone before we got back to Buffalo. I can't believe I used to smoke this much EVERY DAY, of course we now have the luxury of kind bud, and I have unknowingly become one of those quality people, an affliction that slowly breaks one down after many a teenage year of, well, I can't quite remember, actually.

I was going to tell you about how I almost shit my pants this morning, but Birdman is here to get me from school.

Media Technology: Friend or Foe?

So, fuck this. I got a digital voice recorder, and a karaoke machine in hopes of creating the first ghetto rigged internet radio show. My pants are really tight right now, and they just slowly crept up my leg and I honestly thought I was peeing my pants for a second. I have a real fear of losing my bowels every day probably more than most people over 70. What if you woke up one day and it wasn't there anymore? The need, you know? It's terrifying.

There's this older guy in a yellow polo sweater and khaki's , like he came from his yacht to community college, and he's sitting next to me, I think he's gonna make small talk. Nevermind, he just walked away. Anyway, my voice recorder automatically converts all of the files to WAV, as opposed to MP3's like I had hoped. I mean, I was pretty much prepared for WAV, but it would just be easier if it was MP3, you know how I like the world to appease me and such. So I went to download.com, trying to find a LEGAL Wav to MP3 converter, so I could have a link at the top of my blog, and people could download our "radio" show like a song, legally. After three different bunkum converters that I'm pretty sure were specifically created to waste time and piss people off legally, I am just as close to an internet radio show as I was when I started.

If anyone out there knows a good, free, legal WAV to MP3 converter, or at least some way to get me out of this spot, I will reward them with something very special, that being my acceptance, and a burned CD including Birdman singing Rapper's Delight, and of course, Ground Control to Major Tom, or whatever it's actual name is. But seriously folks, a reward is in order to any of my far more technologically advanced readers and listeners of The Stoner Chronicles. Thank you.