i think i'm getting my period...

or i'm aborting a terribly deformed drug ridden fetus flapping thing...

either one would be awesome, because "stoners love blood"...

tylenol...tylenol, i have to work tonight, and make approximately 10,000 Caramel Apple Ciders, and twice as many non-fat caramel Macchiato's...and three times as many fucking Cinnamon Spice Mocha's....

and for the love of christ's homophobic mercy...

******there's no point in ordering the egg nog latte non-fat..there will always be fat in egg nog...it's made out of eggs...eggs have lots of fat, and lots of protein...you're buying a caramel brownie, and you're asking me to put extra fucking whip cream on top, please don't make my fat lazy ass go to the back fridge, to retrieve a carton of egg nog, so i can make it with non-fat milk...it's already pre-made in a little canister with whole milk in the front fridge, in reaching distance, because that's what america is all about...doing things the easy way until we get bombed****

and whilst i'm in the midst of bitching about the motherland...here's a couple things that piss me off about working for dr. evil:

a. MACK-E-A-TOE....not match-e-acto, or manch-i-nato, or even march-e-ato....CARAMEL MACCHIATO...and if you don't live on Jarvis St, don't fucking say "CAR-A-MEL"...there's no need for the extra "A" people...you live in america...

b. it's Gran-DAY, not...well, you get the fucking picture...

c. did i already say eggs have fat? because they do...

d. you know what kids, i love pumpkin scone's too...we all love pumpkin scone's...if pumpkin scone's were around in christ's time, they would be part of our religion...because of this very reason, we don't always have pumpkin scone's...there's no need to spit on me, nor did anyone give you the fucking bazoombas to swear at me through my little drive-thru microphone hat...this is starbucks, not big bert's discount feed...

e. why do you have to ask for the sleeve AFTER I GIVE YOU THE DRINK?...do you think that maybe before i give you the pushed schpeel when i'm taking your money, you could just...oh, i don't know, mention that you would enjoy your pretty little hands delicate and beautiful and un-pink this fine saturday evening?

one day, this is what i'm going to do...i'm going to grab a child out of someone's car...i'm going to scare it so that it will kill itself like Sylvia Plath (minus the Cambridge Scholarship, because if your punk ass is going to Starbucks, odds are, your children will have to fuck their way into community college)...i'm gonna push that little button on the espresso bar that you're not suppossed to touch, and just pray to whatever's up there, that someone from the Seattle headquarters chair will just pull out from under them...then i'm going to take all the espresso beans we have stored, grab the scissors that i can NEVER FUCKING FIND, EVER....tear them all open, and throw them onto the floor...i'm going to waltz...then i'm gonna find any punk nose mother fucker who ever ordered a six-pump, no water no foam no fat chai, or doppio espresso with (count them) four fucking ice cubes, or a grand-eh sugar free vanilla caramel match-i-ato, or a FUCKING NON FAT EGG NOG LATTE...

and...

well, i'll probably give them a free drink coupon, because i never make drinks right anyway

;)

is it really worth the free pound of coffee a week, my friends?

i don't know....but what i do know is...

i can have all the pumpkin scone's i want...

i'm about to go see if i can find a stray dollar in my bookbag for some candy....

I'm eagerly awaiting Ave's kith story, as she must be the luckiest girl in the world right now...if i knew ahead of time that i'd be able to get yesterday off, i would have found a way to LA, regardless of my undying promise to myself that i would never go within 50 miles of hollywood, and it's surrounding areas...

i caught Mr. Show a couple of nights ago, and honestly, I didn't see what the big who-ha was...it's like they were hanging onto Mark McKinney's wings, occassionally getting shit on, but figuring it was well worth it for the ride up to cult-stardom...

the blow job thing was funny, but only because it reminded me a lot of kith, that "fuck you" attitude that comedy lost somewhere between Horatio Sanz and Sweet Home Alabama...

i'll give them another chance, but ONLY because i know the first time i saw kith, i turned it off, grabbed my people magazine and headed for the shitter...

Marleyganja420 (11:46:28 AM): you know one thing that keeps playing out in my head?
A Brucio WorId (11:46:36 AM): Whas that?
Marleyganja420 (11:47:12 AM): after i fucked the hippie...we were sitting out on my porch...and he just looks at me, then he looks down at my pants...and then he says "well, if i can't make it as a philosopher, i could always go into porn"
Marleyganja420 (11:47:29 AM): who fucking says that?
Marleyganja420 (11:47:35 AM): who has the fucking balls to say that?
A Brucio WorId (11:47:45 AM): The people you sleep with, apparently.
Marleyganja420 (11:47:51 AM): looks down at his pants*
A Brucio WorId (11:47:51 AM): You must make them think they're pro.
Marleyganja420 (11:48:13 AM): i mean...yes, he had an unusuably large member...but...
Marleyganja420 (11:48:19 AM): seriously...what was i thinking...
Marleyganja420 (11:48:29 AM): maybe i moan too much...
A Brucio WorId (11:48:41 AM): I would have replied "You'll have to change your name to the Pipe Cleaner if you want to make it in the gay porn indu- ohh, you meant the kind with girls!"
A Brucio WorId (11:48:49 AM): 'cause I'm so witty and stuff.
Marleyganja420 (11:48:54 AM): :::::::as katio runs away from the computer and assumes a fetal position on her futon::::::::
A Brucio WorId (11:49:09 AM): Waay ahead of you.
A Brucio WorId (11:49:15 AM): Wait, no I'm not.
Marleyganja420 (11:49:26 AM): you know what...i'm going to blog about that


i am a stoner who holds her word at high esteem...

how about they sell swiss cake rolls in the vending machine here at school for 65 cents?!

fucking travesty, i tell you...

i just snapped my bra strap in the middle of the computer lab, and it sounded like a fart...

that's like a double nightmare here at Canisius...

i'm attempting to change the colors...like the time i did i a couple months back, and my reader interest level went down 50%, not because i lost it, of course...but, because i truly believe they're retinals had serious scar damage...

so, pink is nice...i wanted green, but...whatever...

it just came to me a couple of days ago, but...

i don't have any friends...

other than my family, and the two guys i call family...i have no one to hang out with anymore...

i was checking up on some online journals, even finding some new ones that i didn't know about, and it just fucking hit me...

no one really likes me...i guess i'm too sensitive, too picky, maybe i'm not brushing my teeth enough...

I've tried to fit in, but really, what's the fun in that?...i even bought a fly jacket and new sneakers and a new "messenger bag" and a cell phone, and i still can't physically say hello back to the girl who sits in front of me in my health class...

i thought it was because i was ugly...i thought that if i made myself happy with things i could control, then perhaps the wings would pop out, and i could jet-end out of this bullshit...

i'm 19 years old, and i can't conform to common morals...

Someone has to help me...although believe me this isn't a cry for help...

I can't stop crying...everything will be fine, i'll sit down with my cocoa pebbles and whatever pointless book i'm supposed to be reading for whatever class i'm supposed to be going to...and i'll flip on the history channel...and it happens...i can't stop it...i lose control of every body part, i've never been accustomed to crying so hard...

i've stopped writing completely, unless it's necessary...and comedy used to be necessary for me...there's the occasional poem that i *have* to write to keep myself from cutting my wrists with the pages of my english book, while i'm sitting in bio class, completely unaware of what's going on in and around me...

i just don't feel like doing anything anymore...i'm skipping my history class for the THIRD day in a row...i probably won't make it to english today, the only detail that makes my day is going to work, because i know I can't cry there...and even then, i'll take my ten minute breaks in the bathroom, and just...sob uncontrollably...i'm doing it right now...in a computer cubicle at school...

i've been smoking a lot lately to control my depression...that's probably not a good thing...i never smoked to escape things...

i smoked because everything was funnier that way...


right now, i'm so out of it, i don't really remember what it's like to have a good time...or make a good joke, or even swallow without the sting and the headache you get from very slowly losing your mind...

i think that...if i don't get some sort of green light...it might not be worth it anymore...

and the weirdest part is...there's something about saying it that made me stop...those little "time outs" from it, i don't know if they make it better or worse...

a couple kids i knew from high school went car surfing on sunday...they weren't stupid boys, they were just...boys...and, best friends at that...there was a bump in the road, and the kid flew off the top of the car, and the other kid ran over him...

he's not physically dead yet...

this is the second time in the past six months where someone from highschool has died/nearly died...

i guess this is what life is...