I'm falling again, i shouldn't admit it, but i'm crashing all over again. I should be fucking thrilled, that the cordless isn't attached to my hand anymore, and I'll never have to sit in a hottub against my will, while some fattie ejaculates his initials into the mirror. I'm lying...his "manlyhood" could barely make it past the rankings of a rubber pencil...

But i'm not bitter...i'm actually starting to concentrate on things, or at least spending a lot of time smokin with my peeps...

Speaking of peeps, i saw ryonce for the first time in months...we had a ball, and ended up cocked at a casadaga valley Pizza Hut...the waitress was whacked too, the minute we walked into the door, she got us our menu's and said "i'm not saying a word"...and then gave us her employee discount, it was a time to cherish, a moment to reflect on our fleeting youth. Every once in a while, I start to ponder the condition of human sincerety, and then something like this happens, and a realize that sometimes people want a bigger tip...

I'm going to wear my simon and hecubus shirt to the next Sunday family dinner...the one with the words "i'm ready to serve you...and satan!" scrawled across my back, i can see one of my pre-school aged jesus freak cousins running for cover into the living room, popping in a Veggie Tales tape and rocking back and forth to "wee-christian soldiers"

I still owe my sister's credit card for his birthday present...i'm still feeling this relationship, whether i choose to or not...this time it's in my pocket instead of my zipper...it's like paying for a VCR that someone already stole from your house. But i'm not going to regret anything that happened for the short amount of time that he was a sweetheart. Joe and I are going to do more stuff, and I hope that I can hang out with some old friends that have come back from Central NY, a year wiser...

I need friends...i don't need an us, maybe a me and me...just a bit of lynn in montreal, or a touch of scott in amherst or a tiddle of flippin wench in her Saturn. I don't know what made me feel like I couldn't continue doing what my boring ass has done every summer since i had pubes...

I'm gonna read a book, or at least find a really flat one to roll on...i'm gonna spend some time with me and my fingers...i'm gonna learn how to play the guitar.

Jim Carrey is filming a movie in Buffalo...they're looking for extra's, I should go...i think it might be fun...and maybe he'll fall madly in love with me, and we can be the John and Yoko of comedians...staging futon-ins for peace in Parry Sound, and Medicine Hat...

I should become a female rap star...they've got big asses, and they still know how to ride nice dick...lil kim's my hero, and i'm fucking proud to say it...

Of course Dawn finally gets a car to go to Phoenix and i've run completely out of cash...how cool would it be to see kith at possibly their last live show EVER?

I didn't post anything about meeting them, did I?

Mark McKinney should be my dad...i've got more pictures with him than i do my real father. He stood outside with me and my new good friend Kat, talked shit with us for a bit, before jumping into a van...and then when Elvis Costello(the guy Craig was afraid to name drop in his blog) ended up at the show, Mark showed his fan side...it was an ironic cult sandwich...

i'll be sandwiched between Mark and Elvis anyday...

and those are my final words...