i don't really know what to do with myself today, i tried taking a long shower, plucked my eyebrows, listened to ABBA, but nothing has stifled my anxiousness for seeing The Kids in the Hall
...

i chickened out last weekend...i mean yes it was freezing out...but i really want to take a picture with bruce, give him my lil letter, and head off into fantasyland for the next few months

and my life will go on...i'll probably never see them again, better yet, i know i'll never be as excited to see them as i am at this point in time...which makes the moment ironically nostalgic before it's begun

i really don't feel i'm even good enough to sit in the audience, i'm not worthy, i'm really not...i'll have to have a lil smoke before i go into the theatre, just so i'm relaxed...which is probably a red flag for addiction, but i'm not running for a right wing chair anytime soon...

my head hurts, trying to capture this moment in my life...and when *i'm* a cultclassic, and spin asks *me* when i knew i wanted to be a comedienne...i'm sure this will be the night i'll reflect on...

I always wondered about parents who tell stories about their children; is it that they have one specific situation they refer to whenever someone mentions 'potty training' mechanical gesture, story script, if you will, that we need to have for stability...or do they truly madly deeply have no other choice but to spew about how wonderful they're twat bearing name brand sneaker facilitators are...

a couple hours to go now...i chewed all the good gum i bought originally for after the show, so i don't blow bruce into Syracuse all on my own...

made my "hi lynn" sign too...

shit what i'm i worried about...fuck it

i'm going for it

wish me luck

peace love and jelly beans...

I KNOW THIS GIRL!!!!

NEW NEW NEW...hey bella how about a KITH 2002 article?

okay!

"The Kids are Alright: an interview with Mark McKinney

wow...someone from DUKE university saw my page....

hi DUKE, you can comment now...cause i put a commenter on there

would you like to have sex with me DUKE?

and i'm not even high

oh yes and i'm sorry to dearest Margaret for not talking to her a few days ago..she mentioned something about starting a blog so now that i'm not in a rush, i'm eagerly anticipating the arrival...

annie's gonna put up a goth one too...simply batty, i say...

i should put something up about Andrea Yates, but then i'd just get extremely angry...

so if anyone wants to say anything about her...comment below...because i'm not blowing a fuse today...

holy crap lynn...i actually updated with comments by myself!!!!

i'm still recovering from a weekend long orgasm and the devestation caused by losing a ten bag of fantastic canadian bud...

i digress, it's been a tumultuous endeavor...

see for a while i was avoiding my blog, because it totally erased my best post EVER...so i got flippy, i started to hate the cause and not the symptom

so now i'm back, no longer a kith virgin, and ready to tell the tale...

just as soon as i get some food in my system....

countdown to catholic anarchy(oxymoron, eh?): 2 DAYS (easter vacaaation!---sing that to the tune of my favorite national lampoon theme song)

Take the Which Beatle Kid Are You? Quiz by indefinitley.

yes...i'm still going to marry pocket-cock(Steven Charles Shields, do you take...)

"Last night, I had a very strange dream about Rick... It was late. I was in my room, watching TV. I came across "Entertainment Tonight" showing Rick singing country music from his new album... Rick singing country? I'm afraid(bella note: SHE'S AFRAID!!??)... Anyways, I didn't have a tape ready, so I couldn't tape it, and I figured that I wouldn't be able to get into the living room to tape it in time, so I just watched, and enjoyed it. After it was over, I went into the living room, and turned the TV on. Rick was taking over for David Letterman for the night. It was so cool! I'm not sure who the first guest was... she was very young and pretty. I think it might have been Natalie Portman. Anyways, Rick gave her a big kiss, and they had a short interview. After that, Lance from Nsync came out (I'm hanging out with my Nsync lovin' friend, Robin too much...), but I woke up (damn!)(bella note: the 'damn' wasn't my note...she added that in as some sort of emotional angle i suppose...). So, kiddies, if you want weird dreams about Rick Moranis singing country, and filling in for Letterman, I suggest eating Knorrs chicken noodle soup, ham and cheese sandwich, and an apple right before going to bed..."--- THIS superfan's dream...

god it's good to be back...

thought i died, didn't cha?

*RANT*

i'm not going to put any bogus links in here...i'm just gonna spew because i'm beyond pissed off right now..so i got the call from bern..the one i get every time he tells me he's going to come up...

it's like, can't you do me the courtesy of making a legitimate excuse? i'm so sick of the ".i'm laying here on the ground...apparently a train hit me baby...", or my personal favorite ".there's lots of really quite hungry wolves eating my balls right now..." i'm seriously thinking about becoming a lesbian..you know... i mean they get so much done in a day

and then he tells me that he can't see me next weekend because he's going to his "buddy's" cottage (sadly enough i automatically thought of Chalet 2000) with that stupid drug dealing single mother...(nothing against any single mothers, drug dealers, or stupid people in general of course) i mean he invited me to come up too..but the point is that I WANT TO SEE HIM ALL ALONE...no weirdo canadians, no excuses for him to act like "bern the great big dick"..is it so god damn wrong to want to spend time together..is that not feminist enough?

so i lost it tonight...i went flippy..and believe me he went flippy right back...i think we had our first official fight...in seven months...not bad, i suppose...of course it was all repressed anger so that's worse than lots of random lil piffs...he must have said fuck about 15 times...so i paraphrased a scott line from SGND...trying not to laugh..."well Bern, even you shouldn't stoop to such rhetoric..." that shut his stupid ass up fur a while...

then i did the good g/f thing..u know tried to calm down the situation by asking him if he's fucking that heidi girl(drug dealing single mother)...and of course he said no...so then he went on and on..this big rant about how he loves me and if he didn't want to be with me then he'd say it, and what not...and so i said that it's normal for both of us to feel nervous about our commitment, well actually i said "well that's noble of you", because i have my period and if you dont like it you can fuck off..and then he brings Joe up...like HELLO!...is that all you've got big man..my bestest gay friend?...i've got three heterosexual canadian horny bots on you son...GRRR...why are heterosexual forklift drivers so afraid to extend their sexual emotions..?

i'm really having trouble finding myself lately...i'm lynette's daughter and annie's sister and bern's g/f and a kids in the hall fan...i guess all of this works out in the end...right?

so we both calmed down and he 100% promised to call me tomorrow night to talk things through...and i believe him..he's good with promises if nothing else...we're gonna arrange something for next weekend...i just signed up fur open mike night..all the boys are gonna be on the show saturday night..so i really hope i can go...

oh yea and thanx fur accepting my apology...my family can be real assholes sometimes..and i can be a total bitch-bot...at least we agree there are far too little bruce fans (or far too many closet ones)

end of rant....

goodnight folks...i hope you're all having sex for me this weekend...and if you get knocked up..well just be thankful ur gettin some...i mean that's terrible..go see someone who can cut that shit out of you...i mean children are a beautiful thing..didn't anyone else see the rosie special?...i love rosie, can i just say that...damn republican christian weirdos...bringin rosie down...i really like rosie..i do...ah whatever...

well friends...i'm sicker than the opie and anthony show...and i don't think it'll be going away because:

a) god hates me(i mean i know there isn't one and all..but...ouch..dammit god stop pinching my colon)
b) bern has the weekend off...so naturally i'd be shitting niagara falls
c)my immune system is worse than Michael Jackson on aslave boat...

so, i will be accepting flowers, cash donations, and e-cards....marleyganja420@aol.com...be nice to me i'm fragile

*rant*

everyone in the house is sick at this point...so i was talking to my grandma this morning...and she must have gone on about diarrhea for 2 hours...i suppose if all other walls in my life crumbled, grandma would always be there to ask me the last time i crapped...because old people love:

a. talking about poop
b. going to church at 4 on saturdays
c.sex
d.PBS

yes, PBS is old people crack..if they don't get their fix of laurence welk or Dame Judy Dench, they'll start burning your favourite dessert...

i'm just happy i'm not like this two weeks from now...because then bruce would never marry me...

hey..it's not as unfathomable as this

"I’ve been running for years now and I’ve NEVER once had an owner apologize for their dog scaring the living shit out of me. I calmly ask them to put their dog on a leash if its going to perform simulated attacks on runners. They ALWAYS: a) claim its never happened before b) smile and say nothing c) scowl and intimate that I am over reacting. My solution is to run at the owner as fast as I can (hopefully the dog won’t protect them) holding the rubber knife (a real one could get me in trouble) I have brought for just such an occasion. Inches before I make physical contact I will stop dead in my tracks, sniff their crotch while holding the knife close to their privates, look at them blankly and walk away. If they react to my little game I will throw back my head and laugh and say, “I don’t know what came over me... I don’t usually do things like this”---Craig Northey

you know....if you like my page...i'm sure all of your friends will too...so link me on ur AIM profile or on your site...if you think i'm a good shit...then help me out and wear a t-shirt with my name on it...it'll make me feel better, and in turn, make the world a happier place...

so i had a dream last night...i had a dream that KFCbiscuits took over the world...there they were, lined up in a perfect row, in all their flaky delicious glory...but they were mean biscuits...they were biscuits with weapons...first they attacked the white house, and all i could hear in the background was Brokaw saying "you know if clinton was still here, he never would have let them get as far as his stomach"

there was a crazy woman, and she had a big mac..she was screaming "it's not me!" "it's not me, blame the kennedy's!"...i stared into the eyes of one of the soldiers, and he looked frightened...he didn't want to takeover a world of french fries, but i knew he didn't want his children living in a land of dollar menus, dollar burgers that cost 1.08...he had to do it...for the sake of of a thinner humanity...

and then it happened...a great voice came from the sky...it was Colonel Harland Sanders, and with one mighty strike of his finger, the streets flooded, and the soldiers were swept into a supernova of instant gravy...their bodies started to separate, their remains clogging up the doorways to all the burger king's,wendy's
,Mcdonalds, and yes...even Arby's...children lost their crappy happy meal toys in the sticky flow of anarchy, as if mother nature unleashed her menstrual cycle for all of us to dip in...

but like all good dreams...i woke up before i found out what they did to Cokie Roberts
...

this is amusing...and according to the posts below..i'm sure you can trust my judgement...

proof that jesus IS a black man...

i think i just died...and went to inflatable heaven...

Jesus (looking up puzzled at sky)?!

"Librarians of the porn industry hiring new cataloguers to parse through movies and record info into our online administration tool. Pay isn't bad, work isn't hard. Work from home at your own pace. Straight and gay movies available depending on your personal preference. E-mail adam@searchextreme.com for details...."

adam@searchextreme.com, i repeat...adam@searchextreme.com

whoa..look below...whoa

have you ever been really bored, then decided to search for something random on google,and then when it's not there you get pissed off..like, poor tommy page...

i mean not to say that an official "stupid sex face" site would do the internet world any justice...but i always thought SOMEBODY liked Jody Sweetin... i just feel sick about this...

not bad lynn, not bad a'tall...he's the ceo of pyra...he must be using "come fuck me" hair gel...

i don't want a smart guy...i'm just gonna start this off with a rant, i'm not even going to warn you..i'm going to lure you into my web...that's what i'm going to do

so, back to smart guys ...like i know they're good for conversation and all..but where's the mind manipulation /fun in that? see, it's scientific ...stupid boys like sex ...and bella loves sex ...i mean i really enjoy it as long as i'm on top and they're not making any faces
...cause i hate faces...like hold it inside, what kind of jew are you, coherently showing your emotions, letting the world know exactly how you feel..this isn't therapy, it's the west side..
see...i have a theory...i don't believe that a man can successfully make a woman orgasm ..it's a conspiracy...STOP LYING TO YOURSELVES...STOP LYING TO YOUR BERN...take a class at the YMCA already..it's not that bad...bring lysol and some sandwiches ...make a bloody
day out of it boys...

"Conan O Brien s&m page...wet spring, much?"

"the fatguy wench"



that's it..i'm making a fat girl site...

wow...i'm a form away from fitting into this craazy world...

Margaret got her RA position WOO-HOO...go get em soldier

uh....how about, uh...NO!

"Ever since September 11, 9-11 at exactly at 9:11am, the time the attack occurred at the World Trade Center in NYC, coincidentally where my bank, Fiduciary Trust Company had the top four floors, where we lost some friends, but thank God found others it would seem that all you're going to read after this, so unimportant. I've got lot's of Iron's in the Fire!! I'll keep you posted. But with this tragedy, we must not get too depressed, that's too easy. Remember to buy one of the Fireman's Bracelets where the money goes to the families of the men and women they lost in the attack.
Every firehouse has the number.
(Call Firestation for the e-mail address) ---- Fire Station 88 –" --rip taylor

"no one will ever know..my secret...that i'm in love..with bella"--amy fisher

"david...i understand if you aren't gay anymore and you wanna stick it in bella's hole...just touch me once more..."-the black cop

i was looking for a hot picture of the gay guy from six feet under...and this is what i found...totally not kewl..well it's kewl..but not favorable to my tastes....unless i was angela...ha

joe has finally got a blog! WOO HOO!...now all we need is margaret and barbara...SECRET
SOCIETY....SECRET SOCIETY

oh Dusavon, i missed you too dearest...

so one annyoing post for the day...i mean other than my stoner net browsing pics of the day...

today started out like a regular piece of shit...i mean the weather was tha bomb, like 55, which in buffalo is enough for the hypothetical black person to take our her hypothetical paper fan...

bern called me tonight..apparently he got laid off, so now he gets paid for sitting on his ass...so he's gonna come up and see me this weekend...and then monkeys will fly out of my cunt...i think he's fucking that heidi girl...shit i'll smackwater jack that bitch right back into the tapestry...

i don't like heroin...

my stoner quote for the day "well.....usually....cats....and....dogs....don't....like.....each....other"--aristotle

i love mini horses

doesn't anyone else wanna commit, like, murder?

OH MY GOD the world is ending

You are Tidy Cat Scoop Cat Litter Odor Control Multi-Cat What brand of scooping cat litter are you?

this is what happens, when baby's mama's get left to support theyselves...

i think i just..yup i just orgasmed

so how about the dusavon made up the sara in the guestbook that said...."bella, u smella" ...a ha ha ha..i thought it was sara diaz, seeking revenge, i mean after all, she is a mexican.....either way..i put the other sara's picture up a. cause it looks kinda artsy and b. cause last time she got a kick out of being next to bob saget...

okay...so i had the "booya" dream again...this is really starting to freak me out...ever since the "dave bar" post, i've been dreaming about random celebrities handing me a silvery packaged booya bar...it supposedly tastes like astrounauts ice cream...

*rant*

why the fuck are people obsessed with space...like i remember always wanting some astrounaut ice cream whenever we went to the science museum, omg...this one time we were at the trekkie space exhibit and this guy was doing the finger thing (where you separate your middle finger from your fourth finger, it's a heriditary thing, like being able to roll your tounge or being born with 6 toes..in mythical greek terms if you had 6 fingers you were supposed to have supernatural powers...my uncle had six toes and then they cut if off and now he sells rainbow lollipops) and he farted, and i was this little girl so i can say that a trekkie literally farted in my face...anywho, i really wanted this fake ice cream but my mom was like...no...and then i got pissed off and knocked over a basket full of fake snakes at the gift shop...

and even though he can't read this...i don't believe i would be a good girlfriend if i didn't mention that this is my monkey's 20th birthday..I love you bern, i love you more than bread...

things i love about bern:

1. he's canadian
2. he says sewth(as opposed to south)
3. he thinks i'm beautiful and/or
4. he likes to continue having sexual relations with me
5. i have him trained to buy me Caramilk bars everytime he steps foot into a canadian store, be it gas, drug or grocery
6. he apologizes when he farts
7. he says "pardon" instead of 'excuse me', or 'wha'?
8. he still thinks freud had sex with his mother
9. he loves porn, and jacuzzi's
10.he buys me fun shit
11. he's all mine
12. he listens to me ramble patiently, even after working a 13 hour shift
13. he laughs at my jokes...
14. he agrees to letting me have sex with bruce, but only once, and only if he offers...(i heard once that a woman made her husband to be sign a pre-nup that said if she ever had a chance to fuck george harrison, the husband would consent to it...)
15. he's keeps his thing clean
16. he's from scott thompson's hometown
17. he gives me free smoke ..oh shit that should be the first one shouldn't it?

but most of all...

18....he loves me too...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONKEY NUTS....you're officially two years closer to forty than me :)

this is amazing....i fucking love this man

well...i'm just happy everyone is taking jokes for what they're worth...sometimes i feel bad, cause i don't really mean to hurt anyone's feelings..that's just the type of humour i'm into right now....

maggie got me sick today..i let her sip my squirt and now i have a massive infection brewing within my nasal cavities...but the lesbo-skit was great in acting today..nothing better than scaring an entire classroom of catholics back into their sexual repressive states..where they belong....futon woman...

ever since i started watching kith, i've noticed my taste in comedy has shifted from funny ha-ha, to homo-eroticism, with a touch of raspberry brandy...speaking of getting crumped up...i haven't had a beer in 4EVER...

so i was watchin The Movie Channel this mornin...and i caught this lil clip:

"Director Bruce McCullogh of Superstar deliberately made every car a volkswagon beetle in the film as an inside joke, to see if the studio noticed...they never did"

this makes my day..sadly, very sadly...and when i make my film..i will put an inside joke in there...just to see if bruce notices...he never will...

i hate this show...

"i'm offended.
bella, u smella"

how annoying is this..my bruce and my woody pic are gone...

Which "Saved By The Bell" Character Are You?

and now i give you...brucio..stoned

isn't he gorgeous??...this is a bella wet dream come true...
i have to link this girl's page...

Hi. I'm Lynnise. I work here!

usually i hate this guy, but...seeing that the page is devoted to stimulating stoners...i just had to creep this one in there...

"Conservatives used to be very libertarian. Reagan was all about getting the government out of people's lives. Well, does that include when I'm twisting up a fatty to watch Nick At Night?" --- bill maher

not enough woody? click here

my first class was cancelled today (woo-hoo!) BUT i hauled ass and got dressed and washed myself n shit, went all the way up to the third floor to see a fucking "go home fools" sign on the door...

then this girl that's in my class walked by me, so i said..oh class is cancelled, and she's like seriously, and i was like, yea, so i told her how i had to stay at canisius till 6, and then she asked where i lived, we had a short conversation and then she drove me home---what a sweet girl, too...i guess she just got engaged this christmas and the guy who's fixing up their apartment died, so they have to do it themselves...

*rant*

sometimes i wonder why we tell strangers such personal information, i mean i know it was all small talk, but the "bill maurer question of the day" is "how small....is small talk?"...i bet her parents don't even know that much about her...like she probably went back to her mom's house (which is where she's living now, but her stuff is at her fiance's dad's house), called her man, mentioned the class was cancelled..probably mentioned me, then she looked in the fridge, maybe got a diet coke out, got to watch her fix of 'all my children' fur the first time this semester, reflected on a childhood memory when her mom used to make her pudding pops

everyday after preschool...and they'd sit there together, eating their pudding pops

, she had a chocolate one and her mom had a key-lime pie one, cause it reminded her of her aunt's farm in poughkeepsie

, where she and her cousin would throw old buttons at the horses and make "kerry" mud pies that they named after this girl they went to sunday school with cause she dressed kinda funny...so they called her mudpuppet..and years later someone else on the other side of the country would hear this same story i'm telling you now, and name their band after it...because the lead singer's dad thought the lyrics we're "dirty", hence "mud" puppet...and the girl from my class and her mom would watch all my children together until her sarcastic father came home from the lumber mill, grunted something sexist and went to the bathroom to take a two hour shit, while he reflected about...absolutely nothing....

*end of rant*

but i still have to go to class tonight at 6, u know...Mamet

awaits...

alright..this one is specifically for friggin wench...cause i know she reads my page...daily

this is sad..really really sad

What ever happened to predictibility?
The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV.
Everywhere you look , everywhere you go (there's a heart).
There's a heart
A hand to hold onto.
Everywhere you look , everywhere you go.
There's a face
Of somebody who needs you.
Eveywhere you look,
When you're lost out there and you're all alone,
A light is waiting to carry you home,
Everywhere you look.
Everywhere you look.

so anyway...the kids who actually did show up i really appreciated...they were freshmen and they were young and irresponsible, but they were there when they could, a lot to ask for 14 yr olds, and i loved them for that

last night one of my best reporters, Christina Ortiz, was involved in a serious car accident and passed away...she was 16 years old.

i don't really know what to say about that...i don't really believe that any one goes to a better place when they die, unless not being around "spiritually" is considered better than this life...i've never been good at going to wakes, especially under the circumstances, where a family loses such an intregal part of their existence, such a young, beautiful and talented girl

i remember her most of all...she had that writers flair, right down to her physical appearance...she's the girl you would have thought you'd see a couple years later, maybe at a movie theatre or the grocery store...and we'd look at each other, exchange double glances, and then hold a two minute conversation, where'd she'd talk about how tough college was, and i'd give her a bit of useless advice like "well, hold on to it, cause now i'm in grad school and it all goes down hill from there", she'd have that look you only get when you're 18, one that tells everyone you've got your whole world ahead of you...

but instead, Christina Ortiz, at age 16, died in a terrible car accident last night...

i should have one good long post for the day...but i'm not sure what i wanna talk about

i mean i don't know if i want to talk about this, and put a damper on a usually funny blog, but i'm really upset over this

last year, while i was still in high school(flashback), i used to run a little thing called the lafayette triangle...it was the school newspaper and i was the cocky editor...i mean no one actually read it, and only like 5 kids knew how to spell there, so it was obvious that journalism wasn't one of L-high's main priorities...
dammit...blog is screwing up on me

i'm hungry...i just ate an entire bowl of cereal...with chocolate syrup in it...why am i saying this publicly?

so i was looking for a bacos official webpage...and this is what came up...i don't think we should trust google anymore people

i fucking love bacos...can i just say that?

so i thought i didn't have anything to do today...but however i was sadly mistaken...for i had a poetry midterm due, complete with a review of a reading that i never went to, because i'm a stoner and i enjoy working at my part time weekend job to supply my habit...now i'm going to fail...smidgen cow fuck i'm having a bad day....see kids... this is why you have to be careful while enjoying the ganja...

one of the things i was doing (quite ironically may i add) was creating a daily poem blog...visit my new blog...or i'll kill you

no offence to the sara's mentioned in the song, for this was in jest and out of utter boredom...feel privlidged to be one of

THE SARA'S I KNOW

[Singing: ]
These are the Sara's I know, I know
These are the Sara's I know
These are the Sara's I know, I know
These are the Sara's I know

Sara Diaz
she and my sister swap trends
they work out together a lot
and i think they're more than friends

These are the Sara's I know, I know
These are the Sara's I know
These are the Sara's I know, I know
These are the Sara's I know

Sara Limezinger

I know from the newsgroup
in november she swore me off
cause she think she knows more about the troupe

These are the Sara's I know, I know
These are the Sara's I know
These are the Sara's I know, I know
These are the Sara's I know

Some of them are Sara's
[Sara Diaz: But most of us are sluts]
They all have their own blogs
But for girls they sure got nuts!

These are the Sara's I know, I know
These are the Sara's I know
These are the Sara's I know, I know
These are the Sara's I know

Sarah Wright
Man, this girl can sing
She sells almost a pound a day
but never has enough bling-bling

These are the Sara's I know, I know
These are the Sara's I know
These are the Sara's I know, I know
These are the Sara's I know

Sara Nowak
I hardly know her
...
[Bella stands around, looking vaguely uncomfortable for the rest of the measure]

These are the Sara's I know, I know
These are the Sara's I know
These are the Sara's I know, I know
These are the Sara's I know

[Next two measures sung by the Sara's Bella knows (and my sister holding sara d's hand)] We are the Sara's she knows, she knows
We are the Sara's she knows
We are the Sara's she knows, she knows
We are the Sara's she knows

Some of us them are Sara's
But most of us are sluts
We all have our own blogs
but fur girls we sure got some nuts!

These are the Sara's I know, I know
[Sara's: We are the Sara's she knows, she knows]
[All: These are the Sara's]

and now...a story...well actually it's part of lynns guestbook...so this is the unedited version...lil miss reporter has to do it all doesn't she?..te he

u know i really like gay people and short hair cuts...probably because i'll never have either of them...

once upon a time bella fell in love with a strapping young man from tonawanda, this man used to pleasure her with his fingers and then all of a sudden he says to me, he says "bella, i also like it when people pleasure me with their fingers..specifically men...specifically men stroking my penis and licking their fingers and putting their fingers up my anus"...so i said, i said "well alright then, does this mean i get to put a rainbow sticker on my corolla, and have a reason for going to the Glaad celebration every year? and he proclaimed me his "fag hag"

but i don't know if that's enough...perhaps i too should like girls, i'm a pacifist, a feminist and a rather good artist when it comes to different colored ketchup...so naturally i would be a good lesbian...

the thought strikes me more of a creative venture than a state of mind, so i suppose i'll have to settle for sub-par bisexuality....

and for short hair cuts..well let me tell you another story....one day bella was a poor kid who lived in a duplex with her mother and her two grimy older sisters...she was catholic and therefore could not get her haircut until her first communion (BY ORDER OF THE POPE..say that in a simon mulligan voice to yourself...chuckle nuts, i'm grand aren't i?)...well 3 years passed and finally my mom took me to super cuts, and all i could remember was vaguely pointing to a style in a 'hair book' (hair book that sounds funny dont it? :q :r ) and the vicious taunts of my grandmother from the visitors section, as if i was a gorilla masturbating at the local zoo(just go for it bella, just a little shorter!...and a lil more..oh yea...rosie the riveter..mmm)...well the next thing i know my hair resembled the kind of gourds you buy your children at the supermarket around halloween time, the little one's from the produce department that you could technically eat but you get it fur little cathy so she shuts her soddin mouth up so you can peacefully buy bagged lettuce...from then on i keep my hair chin length at the very shortest...

so i tell you dear dusavon...you are an amazing person... and i'm sure if i go to the wallingford show i will be tre tre jealous of your pixie appearance:) :) :) ;) :00 <---is that guy stoned? :e

Marleyganja420: oh dusavon..what would i do without you?
LynnishHen: I feel like a soap bar.

this is the Lynnonator and i'm the motherfucking shit...congratulate me in my GUESTBOOK for doing my first link..woo-hoo


Well we're movin on up,
To the east side.
To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
Movin on up
To the east side.


We finally got a piece of the pie.

Fish don't fry in the kitchen;
Beans don't burn on the grill.
Took a whole lotta tryin'
Just to get up that hill.
Now we're up in the big leagues
Gettin' our turn at bat.
As long as we live, it's you and me baby
There ain't nothin wrong with that.

Well we're movin on up,
To the east side.
To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
Movin on up
To the east side.
We finally got a piece of the pie.

tvlyrics

Just popping in to say "hallo."

i have to pee...i am so serious

i can't feel my hands and i'm still typing...

and now..a rant

BUT FIRST

Which David Bowie are you?

i'm a damn genius...in one hour i did a ten page paper, citations and all...sometimes i worry myself..that im a genius that will eventually succomb to evil...think about all the super villans...that bitch from cinderella, she was just tryin to do her own thang thang, and then this blonde haired stepchild swoops up into her shit..i woulda made her do the dishes too...

there's a thin line these days between child abuse and discipline...she is a princess now, isn't she? no one ever thought of that did they??

okay HI LYNNS MOM...that was classic...

genius..psh

Which My So-Called Life Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

that's really sad...joe's only 71% addicted, and he's online more than i am(is that possible, bella? why yes it is lurker, who never signs my fucking GUESTBOOK)

73% addicted to Instant Messenger. How about you?

la la la la la...countdown till paper is due: 7 hours (minus the 2 fur class time)...and i haven't even started the research for it..te he....

so it won't let me post my damn play...how annoying is that...it'll let me post a long ass poem...it's the cia i tell you...

yea so the kith blog is acting up on me...something about not having the right password...so here's the news i was gonna post on there....

hey y'all...check out craig northey's blog...he talks about going on tour with the boys (kith, for all of you non-fan stoners), and i'm sure it will prove to be more interesting once the tour starts up...we get the insider's angle woo-hoo!

http://www.craignorthey.com/blog.html

and now...act one of Smarter child/stoner child...

Act 1: the introduction

Marleyganja420: do you know my name?
SmarterChild: You're Marleyganja420.

so how about i've fallen in love with bern all over again...i guess his phone was taken away from him fur some odd reason...not the point the point is that he can email from his phone...and so to my suprise i opened up my inbox..and this is what i found

"see i can email you now, plus i love you....
bernie"

aww...for a dyslexic canadian stoner...that could bring an anxious american stoner gal to the level of SMITTEN....

and i was gonna dump him on his birthday too....

uh...alright...this is seriously odd...so i'll just uh...post this later...yea

okay so i'm playing with my virtual buddy, smarterchild..this is the epitamy of boredom...so to go along with that running theme...i thought i'd share...

Act 1: the introduction

Marleyganja420 (5:11 PM): do you know my name?
SmarterChild (5:11 PM): You're Marleyganja420.

LynnishHen: I am a genius.

Naturally, I agree.

yes so we went over to swift's house last night...in what could be described as a nightmare ending with a passout...

at first, friggin wench and the swift argued for about 2 hours while i sat there starved as a fat person at a fancy restaurant...ooh brb...chicken fingers are burning...

then people started showing up..including rick, this guy angelator dated a few times, the one with all the WOLF tshirts....::::::shudders:::::seriously, if i ever found a picture with lennon in a wolf tshirt..well first i'd call the national inquirer and then i'd ditch him and join the ringo fan club...

so it was me, wench, hancock, ryonce, swift, wolf man and reno....smokin and chillin and havin a good time...

wench has been spending an awful lot more time with the swift lately...the only good thing that can come out of that is a smokin room...

and let me rant for a few moments

i think everyone should have a smokin room, even if you don't smoke, ya know..because i've found recently that stoners find the ganja to be sacred...we have to sit there in ur living room looking at your big ass picture of the last supper, and sometimes we'll equip our "religious motif" kitchen with a buddha, so why shouldn't you be courteous of our cause and get a god damn marley border...make use of that basement...it's not like you're kids don't smoke down there anyway...and it's fun, there's a lot you can do with a smokin room, the arrangement is casual, u know bean bags, fiber optics, cult classic posters, and such...and no stoner room would be complete with out butterfly touch-lights...you can go expensive and sprinkle jerry ashes all over the room for the "tinker bell smoker" effect, or you can go a little less grandeur and sneak into a funeral home, replace someone's grandmother with cement shards...a ha ha..awful thing that happened there, simply awful

okay so maybe i don't wanna sound like the asshole...but i heard that the WTC victims are getting something like 2 million dollars per family...i don't know what to think about that...a lot of those folks who died we're big shot execs..i would think that their big shot investments would hold them over...i'm just as sympathetic as the next woman for those people who had to go through something that horrific...hell i had a cousin in there too (well it was my cousin's husband's cousin, but it's a good thing to tell canadians cause then they feel special like 'i know someone who knows someone from america that died in the WTC") but what happens to the families of the soldiers who don't come home...they WILLINGLY gave their lives to justice...

i'm a pacifict, i shouldn't even be saying anything...

aiight i'm finished...

we didn't get back home till 7am..i passed out on a half bent futon, awoke in a pile of peanut butter cup ice cream droppings and crushed sun chips stuck to my face...

futon...brucio...march 28th.....shea's performing arts center...row TWO..orchestra 4, 9-15....sigh

please excuse the previous posts, for bella was having a stoner moment....

actually i was trying to add a brucio pic and oh gosh...the dusavon has to help me again




Take My Poll

I'm a little teacup short and stout...

wow..this is the first time my blog has worked in a long ass time...i'm so damn excited you have no idea...i suppose AOL hates me fur some reason....

and now a poem entitled

Munchies

i smoke a spliff
i eat a grape
a lonely grape
that neva woulda hadda
chance if i was
sober

i roll a doob
hold back the tears
you're never gonna a
go a breakin my heart
again

the ganja's me
I am the wind
that carries the smoke
across the room
into the door
the door i slammed
on you
THERES FUDGE IN THE FRIDGE

there's fudge in the fridge
it tap dances through my soul
you are the one
but not THE one
I drink the mellow yellow
and i take another hit

i stop to read a book
a book?
fuck the book
there's fudge in the fridge

who am i there?
what were we then?
i coulda cared
i never did...
so why do i now?

i get to the fridge
but why am i here?
why are we here?
why do all of my
cups
have
faces
?

i dont care

i don't care

i don't care

i'm tired
goodnight?

****************

pulitzer prize much?... so i'm off to swift's house, and lagdamen got a job with wesley snipes so he's moving back to new york which means angelator is taking over his apartment here in the B-LO and we're gonna have a two month smoke fest until the lease runs out...

good times, good times...

PEOPLE NEED TO SIGN MY GUESTBOOK!!!

and to whoever laura is....well...I LOVE YOU TOO.... http://localaura.diaryland.com....go NOW...hehe


okay, stoner's finally back to her semi-important weekend job...i just paid off my kith ticket...a few more weekends and i'm on my way to toronto where i'll make love to my b/f who's )probably making love to other girls, or himself a lot more lately) and enjoy the genius that is...brucio

oh sisters, so little time and so much to tell you

first i would like to voice my concern with evil AOL and blogger...a plea really

STOP EATING MY GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING POSTS AND STOP GOD DAMN TIMING OUT ON ME AND KEEP UR SON OF A BITCH BOOTING TO YOURSELF

sheesh

now...my story of the day...me and friggin wench, and her ex, swift went to this 24 hour food place, got stoned in the pickup and then went to swift's local hole in the wall for a few drinks. i was so fucked up that i could barely breathe...we got in drunken fights with midgets and then a guy with a googly eye dropped five pound candy bar in my lap..and it wasn't even a dream...

*****the only thing worse than not having any smoke, is having smoke but not being able to smoke it, furthermore the only bad thing about having a five pound hershey bar in your lap is when it's the googly eye guy's kid's candy bar******

so i lean over to friggin wench and i tell her.."i must be in heaven man"...it was the best day of my life

revert back to the last time you smoked...now imagine if you were stoned in a bar, and a guy handed you...A FIVE POUND CHOCOLATE BAR...(i'm good at imagery, eh?)...exactly, that's how i felt...

children masturbate....children in their phallic stage (excuse the hell out of me fur being freudian), which is ages 3-6, play with themselves...apparently they do this a lot...why didn't i know about this? there was a loss of innocence in psychology class today, i tell you...

(disclaimer: i'm going to rant)

it's kinda like when i tryed out fur the musical my sophomore year in highschool. Everyone else knew "a do a deer..." like it was mashed potatoes, and i'm sitting there like, what the fuck i don't know this...like i had time to watch some bitch up on a hill with dyke hair(alone on a hill...a bitch with a stupid grin is sitting perfectly still/and nobody wants to know her/cause they think that she might have a gun...UZI: THE MUSICAL, anyone?)...but everyone was like, "oh yea, who doesn't know that song?" and i'm like me me me I DONT know that song...

it makes me ponder the validity of common sense...it strangles individuality, like "it's okay to find yourself billy, but if you don't know that lincoln is the 16th president, satan's going to rape you while your sleeping..." What should be "understood" between people? does it make me a better person, or even a more normal person because i know what goes on top of pizza(pineapples and m&m's..but only the yellow ones)? we live in this world of "understood" phrases and consequences...and we wonder why so many smaller countries with hand made weapons want to "bring us down"....america's just one big inside joke, and osama is the kid who crapped his pants on the bus to the zoo...

and then my mother (who works in a kindergarten room) goes "are you kidding me? you should see them at naptime...they're all humping their mats..."

bern never called me...he was supposed to be here today...but then he must have had better things to do than spend time with me. You should need a license to fuck, better yet, you should need a deer killing license to fuck, because i be the girl who works in the deer killing licensing office must really want to kill herself by now, all those plaid clad toothpick chewing bastards, swingin their big guns at her...

at least i don't work in a deer killing licensing office...however any thought that starts out like that automatically makes you a loser....

i don't know how many times someone can break your heart before you're forced to give up on them..i'm not the best lover either, but dammit i try...i'm confused...if anyone has any "bastard canadian b/f advice....put it in my guestbook...fuck no one reads this...