so how about the dusavon made up the sara in the guestbook that said...."bella, u smella" ...a ha ha ha..i thought it was sara diaz, seeking revenge, i mean after all, she is a mexican.....either way..i put the other sara's picture up a. cause it looks kinda artsy and b. cause last time she got a kick out of being next to bob saget...

okay...so i had the "booya" dream again...this is really starting to freak me out...ever since the "dave bar" post, i've been dreaming about random celebrities handing me a silvery packaged booya bar...it supposedly tastes like astrounauts ice cream...

*rant*

why the fuck are people obsessed with space...like i remember always wanting some astrounaut ice cream whenever we went to the science museum, omg...this one time we were at the trekkie space exhibit and this guy was doing the finger thing (where you separate your middle finger from your fourth finger, it's a heriditary thing, like being able to roll your tounge or being born with 6 toes..in mythical greek terms if you had 6 fingers you were supposed to have supernatural powers...my uncle had six toes and then they cut if off and now he sells rainbow lollipops) and he farted, and i was this little girl so i can say that a trekkie literally farted in my face...anywho, i really wanted this fake ice cream but my mom was like...no...and then i got pissed off and knocked over a basket full of fake snakes at the gift shop...

and even though he can't read this...i don't believe i would be a good girlfriend if i didn't mention that this is my monkey's 20th birthday..I love you bern, i love you more than bread...

things i love about bern:

1. he's canadian
2. he says sewth(as opposed to south)
3. he thinks i'm beautiful and/or
4. he likes to continue having sexual relations with me
5. i have him trained to buy me Caramilk bars everytime he steps foot into a canadian store, be it gas, drug or grocery
6. he apologizes when he farts
7. he says "pardon" instead of 'excuse me', or 'wha'?
8. he still thinks freud had sex with his mother
9. he loves porn, and jacuzzi's
10.he buys me fun shit
11. he's all mine
12. he listens to me ramble patiently, even after working a 13 hour shift
13. he laughs at my jokes...
14. he agrees to letting me have sex with bruce, but only once, and only if he offers...(i heard once that a woman made her husband to be sign a pre-nup that said if she ever had a chance to fuck george harrison, the husband would consent to it...)
15. he's keeps his thing clean
16. he's from scott thompson's hometown
17. he gives me free smoke ..oh shit that should be the first one shouldn't it?

but most of all...

18....he loves me too...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONKEY NUTS....you're officially two years closer to forty than me :)