my mom thinks that Birdman and I are hitting it horizontally...

that is true, of course, but not in the sense that most imagine...

See, the "fat girl friend" is a specific sort, kind of like "the wigger", "the newfie" or the "gas station attendant". Usually skinnier, with remarkably managable hair, the "fat girl friend" poses as a boyfriend at certain times, and yet makes sure that in dim lit areas, they are nowhere near the "fat girl" genital area. See, the "fat girl friend" is a friend not because they enjoy the fat girl's company, they usually just feel really bad for the fat girl, especially after the fat girl vents for hours about "the fat girls asshole ex boyfriend", (who wasn't really a boyfriend at all, probably just a fuck friend that the fat girl misinterpreted as something more because the "boyfriend" needed a warm place to put his dick, and it is socially acceptable to do so, thank you Jimmy Kimmel), and the "fat girl friend", a truly honest young gentlemen, who will ironically never be attracted to a fat girl, vows in his own mind to accept the highly questionable brushes the "fat girl" might give the "fat girl friend" on certain nights, when she is horny and much like the "fat girl ex boyfriend asshole", needs a little warm spot to place her tits when she feels rejected by every penis except for the one sitting next to her.

Birdman, a perfect example of the "fat girl friend", should not at all feel hurt by this paragraph, it is perhaps as stoic as this "fat girl" can get...

I know you don't want me, birdman, and you know that's okay. If anything, in most situations, the "fat girl" might lose complete respect for the "fat girl friend" if he was ever to place sexual pressures on the relationship, this is the "fat girl/fat girl friend" Kryptonite. Or maybe, "the fat girl" would love the "fat girl friend" forever because it was a misdiagnosis to begin with, it's really a "preppy hot white boy that doesn't register the fact that he likes a fat girl", and "a very pretty fat girl that would never imagine a hot guy would like her" syndrome, which is a whole other blog in itself.

the real question is, would I risk the relationship "the fat girl" has going now to play around with that instance?

pass me my slippers, "fat girl friend", we're sitting home, passing the joint on separate couches tonight...to lose my "fat girl friend" to find that out is simply not worth it...

or maybe it is...

i signed up for a new site meter which means that we start off from point a, ground zero, the big flip, or whatever drug you might be on...

so, add 7,457 hits on top of the three i have now...

fucking blogger...

Why does everything have to be so fucking difficult, and why does my vagina smell?

Let's catch everyone up:

I'm going to the Humber College of Comedy Summer Workshop in July with Angelator

I'm making some serious self-esteem adjustments, including some new sex toys, and a potential relationship

a very very potential relationship, so potential i shouldn't be talking about it, but it's my fucking blog, and I can say whatever I want

i fucked up college...i'm transferring somewhere where I can live in peace, and hopefully without a lot of smoke

i am still a stoner

there's lots of MSG at Applebee's!

I think I have lice, and my hair is incredibly short

i'm going to check myself into a cheap motel room for a week and write my own bible

black people can really sing and dance...

yesterday, i had a sexual fantasy about snoop dog, and the day before that, i got a yeast infection...

and the day before that, my friend stole my hair dryer

who the fuck has the balls to steal a hairdryer?