Why are we colors?
Does anyone else find "paintball" just about the funniest thing in the world? It's like, it's not really a gun, or anything! My white boyfriend has spent over a THOUSAND dollars pimping out his paintball gun. He carries it in a little silver suitcase that you might find in a b-rated kung-fu/druglord movie, and he's damn serious about his fake gun.
Seriously, though, IT'S A FAKE GUN! Like, it's fake and shit, people, it's a fake gun! You can probably spend less on real gun bullets at Walmart, than you would on paintballs. Maybe it's just the poor girl in me, but I could understand if it was *less* expensive to purchase a fake gun than a real one. I'm not even saying it's cooler to spend a lot on a real gun, but if someone busts into my apartment, I don't want to maybe hurt them with paint, I want to kill them. Can you have a loaded paintball gun in your apartment?
Birdman is always trying to get me to play "fake gun shooting" in the forest. How fucking scary would it be if you were a deer, and you came across a couple of really serious looking white people shooting each other, and shooting each other and shooting each other. Wouldn't you be pissed if you were that deer? Like, in deer land, the white-man-with-gun is so archetypal to them, that fake guns would be so ironic to them, it would just blow their little deer minds . Or maybe they would just run away, because they're deer.
At least rich white people back in the day would eat the fox after they scared the shit out of it, or at least I think they did, don't quote me. And if the fake gun isn't too expensive for you, you can also buy "gear", like face masks and elbow pads, there's even paintball jerseys ! Like, in case you can't find the other person you're "shooting". And don't get me wrong, lots of trashy white people spend their entire paychex on this shit, i'm not counting out the trashy paintballers. All of this makes me wonder if there were trashy fox hunters, like these people on the countryside on donkeys or something, like, we can fox hunt too, damnit. Maybe only the trashy ones ate foxes.
Sensible Joe and I would fill our squirt guns up with food coloring and wear white t-shirts and get stoned and go to Lincoln Park for fun, but water isn't painful. If I stub my toe when i'm stoned I cry like i've just been sexually assaulted. Who wants to play a game that hurts? Better yet, who wants to play any game when you're a stoner, isn't being high 14 hours a day fun enough?
More time needs to be invested into my understanding of this shit.
Seriously, though, IT'S A FAKE GUN! Like, it's fake and shit, people, it's a fake gun! You can probably spend less on real gun bullets at Walmart, than you would on paintballs. Maybe it's just the poor girl in me, but I could understand if it was *less* expensive to purchase a fake gun than a real one. I'm not even saying it's cooler to spend a lot on a real gun, but if someone busts into my apartment, I don't want to maybe hurt them with paint, I want to kill them. Can you have a loaded paintball gun in your apartment?
Birdman is always trying to get me to play "fake gun shooting" in the forest. How fucking scary would it be if you were a deer, and you came across a couple of really serious looking white people shooting each other, and shooting each other and shooting each other. Wouldn't you be pissed if you were that deer? Like, in deer land, the white-man-with-gun is so archetypal to them, that fake guns would be so ironic to them, it would just blow their little deer minds . Or maybe they would just run away, because they're deer.
At least rich white people back in the day would eat the fox after they scared the shit out of it, or at least I think they did, don't quote me. And if the fake gun isn't too expensive for you, you can also buy "gear", like face masks and elbow pads, there's even paintball jerseys ! Like, in case you can't find the other person you're "shooting". And don't get me wrong, lots of trashy white people spend their entire paychex on this shit, i'm not counting out the trashy paintballers. All of this makes me wonder if there were trashy fox hunters, like these people on the countryside on donkeys or something, like, we can fox hunt too, damnit. Maybe only the trashy ones ate foxes.
Sensible Joe and I would fill our squirt guns up with food coloring and wear white t-shirts and get stoned and go to Lincoln Park for fun, but water isn't painful. If I stub my toe when i'm stoned I cry like i've just been sexually assaulted. Who wants to play a game that hurts? Better yet, who wants to play any game when you're a stoner, isn't being high 14 hours a day fun enough?
More time needs to be invested into my understanding of this shit.
posted by baby bison at
8/04/2004 01:17:00 PM
7 Comments:
Ahhh paint ball it's like... caps and b-b guns and those snap things you throw on the ground and semi-automatic nerf-bullet guns. They are fun, that is why people have them. I agree that they are stupid of course, but I'm pretty sure people have them because they find them fun, plus they make cool noises and seem violent.
By
Angela, at 7:37 PM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
By
Anonymous, at 5:02 PM
"Your a fucking idiot. Stop classifying people as "white". Maybe you should stop smoking and your brain wouldnt be so fried. It shows. I could sit here and say, ""Does anyone else find "blogs" just about the funniest thing in the world?" Don't "black people" have better things to do than post on websites, like eating massive amounts of greasy chicken and watching p.j harvey........" Trashy niggers blow their entire paychecks on pot.... At least paintball gives you exercise PS your a fatass. Maybe you shoudl go try it."
Don't you think that when you start off accusing someone of being a "fucking idiot", you might not want to sound like one yourself? It's you're, not "your". And she did it twice! And if you're (see how it works, the apostrophe is like, instead of saying "you are", you can shorten it, you try!) that offended by "classifying" people, perhaps you should write a scathing letter to the ACLU about some "fatass" on the internet that tweaked your fanny the wrong way. They might, in turn, let you know that calling someone "fat" right now is one of the only acceptable slurs left in America, and in less than fifty years when it's not anymore, it's going to be just as bad as saying "nigger" or more recently updated "fag". Yea. But thanks, anyway, it's always nice to hear from my readers!
P.S.: somebody's got a paintball gun!
By
baby bison, at 5:12 PM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
By
Anonymous, at 8:25 PM
WOA what the fuck... As a fellow fat ass and pothead, I have to come to the rescue of baby bison and say that whoever this chicken-shit-know-nothing- -asswipe is, commenting without signing your name is just dumb and sad especially when your comment is so poorly put together. It is easy to dog someone mercilessly without showing your face isnt it, esay to talk shit when noone can give it back... who are you and where is your blog... I need to read it so that I can a) make fun of your pseudo-intellectualism at random intervals, and b) see if you usually throw around words like nigger and fat ass (because if you do I'll find a way to use it against you-- yes I care that much) . Who the fuck do you think you are. I can only imagine you must be a raging paint pall aficionad with fake guns strapped to your calves, every minute at the ready for a pretend war... calm the fuck down. Oh and please read my blog and call me fat too and don't forget to make make some more nonsense comments and we can be antifriends forever. Just sure you come armed with your ill will and maybe a fake gun or two... I could use a laugh.
By
Angela, at 10:15 PM
Oh yeah and in case you were wondering, the brilliant baby bison is making fun of rich white people... If you didnt get that, you might want to put on your thinking cap and go back to the drawing board. (please tell me you decided to forgo college.)
By
Angela, at 10:23 PM
oh, angelator, and thank you for the support! the other stoners would bombard this motherfucker, but I'm not allowing anonymous comments anymore, so they'll have to get a blog if they want to participate in the stoner chronicles, at least until i switch it back again, eventually...
By
baby bison, at 2:09 AM
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