• What the fuck is it with baby boomers getting blogs and all of a sudden, they think they're fucking bejesus m. graves, all good doer of the earth's internet source?   Like seriously, i've been working with computers since you were getting herpes at the discoteque! 
• The only old people blogs I like are the parents of my friends, and I bet it was my friends that probably set up the account for them, and changed the font to be larger so they could read it.  This is not a cliche thing, my mother, much like many old stoners, can not read anything on the internet unless it is at least 24pt.
• A couple of weeks ago, I was in Birdman's room late at night on the internet.    As I was casually browsing for fun downloads on the Sprint website, I clicked on the muzak version of "A Hard Day's Night",   and seriously scared the living fucking shit out of myself.  It seems as if I actually turned the volume to highest point on his subwoofer stereo system, while attempting to turn it down for his sleeping family members. I may have been the first fatal injury related to a ringtone.  For one sick and crazy second, I thought I was going to fucking die, I probably looked like the dad from Strangers with Candy.
• This hot girl I know admitted to a room of people that she has farted so loud in her sleep, that she woke herself up, all scared.  Imagine the hot girl you know waking up all crazy scared before realizing she just farted.  Yea, it's a lot funnier now, isn't it.  This like, bewildered cat look, like, fuck, what just happened to me, where's the devil, scared look. 
• I have to go back to school, don't I?
• Why do I have to go back to school?  I hate school.  My mother said to me "you never used to hate school when you were younger", and I was thinking to myself, well, I also let you wipe my ass, but things change.  Why is it that everytime I try to explain something to my mother, she has to reference back to when she was still in control?  I guess she's like the former President of Me.
• I don't really like David Bowie, but I love that spaceship song, like fucking jam and toast.  White people drop that rhyme off like last year's cool t-shirt at the Salvation Army.
• I can't believe I never noticed this bullet maker thing.