Angelator and Birdman and I have been staying at a rich indian's house that we know very well, i'm actually married to her, but that's another post. So, everyday I like to pilage through her really expensive clothes, cosmetic products and electronic equipment, and take the things I find most interesting. Then I sit in her really comfortable bed playing with her game boy advance SP, spritzed with chanel, some french shit that looks like it costs more than my life, and a bag of doritos that I bought with my unemployment compensation money.

It is here where I find myself staring at the sponge bob square pants that she painted on her wall, and just crying like a fucking mad woman. I don't know why I cry so much, it doesn't effect me, it's just the way I fall asleep. Sometimes, and he doesn't admit it but I know Birdman's got to be creeped out by not having an evening where I don't at some point cry in bed. I have, however, never cried after sex, it is something i've just promised myself I'd never do after I saw Stealing Harvard. I'm not doing it for attention! I've never really even talked about it until right now, and I usually wait till I'm pretty sure he's very asleep before it comes out. I could say it's depression, but she's one of my best friends, and I wouldn't blame that on her. What if I have a little known syndrome, what if i'm supposed to be somewhere else, in another time and place, a little sick boy with no socks on looking out the window of my parents sprawling estate, wondering why I wasn't a lower class fat girl with the potential to do something that needs to be done to save me?

Maybe i'm over reacting. Come to think of it i've only been crying myself to sleep for the past week.