My mom and sister and dog have all been sick this week, throwing up and being really miserable, and I've been sleeping at Birdman's house a lot lately, so much so that his mom offered to buy me Lactaid milk while they were grocery shopping. I don't know why I don't feel comfortable in their house yet, I agreed to begin sleeping there because I didn't feel like cleaning my house and it was starting to smell really bad, and secondly because I didn't want to feel like the dragonlady because he was over my house every night, and they're a cell phone family and every ten seconds one of them would be calling him up like "Penny ate a plate of brownies what should we do!" or "the computer is making a weird noise, i don't know what to do" or "there are sticks in the yard and we can't mow the grass, we don't know what to do!" or "the garbage can fell, we don't know what to do!", which were really just desperate attempts to get him to spend more than five minutes in his house, other than to get his papers or lighter or KY. So, I thought to myself, it won't be that bad, he has a nice computer and there's lots of food, and I'll just stay out of his family's way and they can talk to him whenever they want in person, and he has a real bed and not a couch and i'll be fine.

So, a week ago, his mother has this heart to heart discussion with him, quite suprisingly not over the phone about my "behavior" at the house. Apparently i'm not talking to her enough, like I should make a plate of fresh baked cookies with the butter she bought and bring those and some cocoa into the living room and watch third watch tapes with her, and then maybe she could teach me how to play the flute.

I've never been good with talking to people, I just don't see the need to push a conversation that isn't there unless it involves money or sex. Maybe i'm a bad person for avoiding them on every possible occasion, especially his father because they have a lot of junk food, and I poop a lot in their house, and the only time I actually even see his dad, is the like, three times i've been in their fridge without birdman in sight, or i'm walking out of the bathroom after i've taken a hearty shit.

So Birdman tells this to me, and now I feel bad, so I actually waved at his mother while I was walking down the stairs, which is a really awkward way of greeting your boyfriend's mother when you're 4 feet away from her in her own house. So she gives me this look, like "why are you waving at me", so i put my hand down really quickly and ran down the stairs and into the car.

Apparently, after a long day of browsing the internet and taking several official medical surveys, I have realized that I have a condition known as "social anxiety disorder". For so long, I wondered why I couldn't go to a crowded bar or talk to anyone that didn't look like one of my family members, I always thought I was a genius, but I guess this is not the case...