So, if I don't drink enough water, and keep it down, for that matter, I will have to deal with kidney failure. I'm 20 years old, and I feel about 75 this afternoon. I had no idea how much weight I had gained in highschool until I had to go for an appointment yesterday. I have not weighed myself in a good three years, I absolutely refused to be concerned about it, and now I don't know why I am so upset that I have been gaining girth, like a snowball rolling down a hill of cold french fries. If I survive the rest of this month, I'm going to have to make some more resolutions...

Last week I saw "What about Bob" for the first time since I was about 12. I have a new appreciation for Richard Dreyfuss...

Birdman is obsessed with swords. At first I was cautious dating someone who had a weapon collection, until I did it with him, and I guess I can let it slide. But, come on, Birdman, swords? I sleep below a collection of 3 foot long very sharp swords on a mantel that weighs approximately .5 pounds. At this current point in my life, it would be only fitting that these swords slice me into dinner...i have to go I believe I just threw up blood...