Should be writing my week old Ethics paper, but that would be rational, and I don't believe in any such nonsense...

We went to this super buffet last night for my grandmother's birthday(yes, a buffet, as a birthday present, no, we don't own a Camaro) at the new Casino in Buffalo that it took about 15 years to come to fruition. On the way there, my sister was telling us that she saw a five year old wearing sweat pants that said "holla" across the ass, and my grandmother goes, as serious as chicken soup, "holla, is that jewish?"

My grandma is one of the funniest people i've ever met, she's trained in the boys club fashion, and she's says "gee whiz" and "shorty" a lot, but i'm lying, she doesn't say "shorty" a lot...

This one time we were sitting around the table having dinner, which means I was probably under ten if we were eating at a table, and my grandmother, right after a signifigant stroke of silence goes "you know those homosexuals use their fists". I can remember exactly what I was eating too, liver, mashed potatoes with fucking liver au juis, and broccoli, because my grandmother always had something secretely against me after that time at the movies when I was like, 7, and I didn't want to see this crap ass kid film that my mom wanted to take us to see, so I sat directly in the middle of the theatre and fucking flipped out until my mom had to eventually physically abuse me in public and take me home...

yes, so, you were right grandma, I did grow out of hating horseradish, and every shirt you've advised me against wearing was, in fact, trashy. and unattractive, and you have one hand and you've made biscuits every night for your family since 1948, and you're too afraid of "the net" to get to hear me say that you are the fucking coolest person I will ever have the privilidge of being raised by...