I wish i had a pet kangaroo, so i could teach it to beat the shit out of people that say no to me...we would go all over the place...the KFC on Elmwood (across from Ambrosia), the DMV, City Hall, and then i'd build a time capsule, fly back to the fifth grade with my new kangaroo, and kick the living fuck out of that little prick that stole my musical pencil box...

i would say i'd teach it how to operate a weapon, but with feet like that...really, who needs a fine calibur rifle, or a chainsaw even...shit, if i was a kangaroo, i'd kidnap that bitch john fugelsang, hog tie his ass, steal a bravada from an asshole (because...only assholes drive bravada's, so i wouldn't feel all that bad), stuff him in my pouch, and take off for vegas....

then i'd buy three prostititues, make them reinact the assasination of john lennon, i'd rob a bank, buy a jet plane, and fly it to tokyo, where people would fucking appreciate me, and john fugelsang, and my three loose pussied whores, that i'd train to become an elite world hunger fighting team...

that's what i would do...if i was a kangaroo...